I spoke too soon.
Recently I posted on Twitter and FaceBook about feeling like I had found a non-confrontational way to appeal to folks to comply with wearing masks when we couldn’t be at least 6 feet apart. While a couple of people did kindly cover their mouth and nose with their t-shirt, there were at least a dozen more who just ignored me or rolled their eyes. I call these people selfish assholes.
This reminds me of Pre-Rona, when one of the things the hubby and I really enjoyed doing was going to the movies. However, when we went to the theater on opening weekend, I found myself extremely irritated with the selfish assholes in the crowded theaters who had to answer their phone, text, and/or have an above-whisper conversation throughout the movie with complete disregard for all around them. To say something meant a confrontation that further interrupted my movie experience, so we decided to wait at least a week to see a new movie to avoid as many selfish assholes as possible.
But in the Time of Rona, every day is opening weekend. Sure, I could just stay inside and avoid all the selfish assholes, but I have the right take a walk as much as anyone else (especially since the scale is telling me I’m dangerously at risk of getting the covid-19 pounds). And more importantly, much more than my movie experience is at stake. Which is why I can’t just be silent.
I get that saying something is hard. I remember a time Pre-Rona on a barely standing room only BART train on the evening commute. I was lucky to have boarded at a station when seats were still available. I sat by the window. The train car was quiet—until a large young woman sitting across the aisle from me started screaming and cursing into her phone. With my music blaring through my earbuds at max volume, I could still hear her clearly. This went on for several stops, probably long after I got off. And not one person said a word to her. Not the strangers sitting right beside her. Not me. We all just suffered through this selfish asshole, because it was easier than risking her wrath turned on us.
Imagine if we all spoke up to people doing the wrong thing. Especially when the wrong thing puts our health at risk. And especially when the reasons for doing the wrong thing are selfish, irrational, and just plain stupid, such as (to be read in whiny prepubescent teen voice):
“The mask is hot!”
“I don’t wanna!”
The government is not the boss of me!”
For my trail walk yesterday, I still tried the avoidance tactic by heading out at 8AM, thinking the selfish assholes wouldn’t be out and about until at least 11AM. I still came across 4. The first I was able to distance myself from, so I said nothing. The second, was a man talking on his phone who made no move to cover his mouth and nose as I put my mask on. So as he passed, I said, “You need to wear a mask when we can’t be 6 feet apart.”
“I’m sorry?” he asked, turning his head away from his phone.
“You need to wear a mask when we can’t be 6 feet apart,” I repeated and modeled how to do it with his shirt.
He went back to phone, with no effort to cover up.
“Selfish asshole,” I said and walked on. As did he.
It was the same outcome as with my pleasant plea to encourage folks to #KeepUsAllSafe. And I felt a little release of frustration, like opening the InstaPot steam valve for just a second.
Next there was a couple who looked like they were somewhere around 19 years old.
“Y’all need to wear a mask when we can’t be 6 feet apart,” I said. They tried to ignore me.
“Selfish assholes,” I said as they passed and walked on.
A few seconds later, “You need to be cool with that shit, lady” the male selfish asshole said.
My inclination was to ignore and keep walking, but I wish I had turned in said, “Wear a fucking mask and I will.”
I’ll try that next time, with the taser that the hubby bought me the last time somebody thought I was one to be fucked with in hand. Just in case. One might say I’m an asshole too for taking this stance. I’m ok with that. Because at least I’m not a selfish one.
***ADDENDUM June 3, 2020: A few days after posting this blog piece, I learned from a reputable source that the risk of being exposed to enough virus to cause disease while passing someone outside is very low. This information brought me much peace. That I don’t have to expose my inner lioness to every person who refuses to wear a mask within 6 feet of me in order to protect my family. AND…I continue to hate selfish assholes because “very low” does not equal zero. Everyone still needs to do their part to minimize getting or spreading the virus—even if no one in their personal circle has been seriously ill or died because of it.