I’ve written about my reasons for leaving UCSF. And while it was painful to feel unsupported, isolated, undervalued, and gaslighted—including by Black leadership within the institution—I was already a published author, recipient of multiple coveted grants and fellowships, and double board-certified in nephrology and internal medicine. I’ve since learned that my story pales in comparison to so many other young Black physicians who are being disproportionately pushed out of medicine at a time in their career when they have no license to practice independently but do have $240,000 of debt on average after completing medical school. Only 5% of physicians in training in the US are Black, but account for 20% of program dismissals. And this doesn’t even count those who are convinced to resign to avoid the damaging mark of dismissal on their record.
my final straw
“My pending exodus from academic medicine after 15 years…” This is how I started my piece recently published in the New England Journal of Medicine. I wrote my thoughts on what academia needs to do to right the wrongs that centuries of racism and anti-Blackness have created, but not on the experience that served as my final straw. A story in the news since then makes me want to share it now…
"angry black woman" is the new n*gger
Scrolling through Twitter today, I came across the headline “Democratic commentator Hilary Rosen comes under fire for telling Nina Turner she misunderstood MLK’s words.” The headline was trending, so I was clearly not the only one intrigued. Digging deeper, I found a video in which Hilary Rosen, a White woman and Democratic political strategist, attempted to shout down Nina Turner, a Black woman and national co-chair for the Bernie Sanders presidential campaign, on a segment of CNN’s Cuomo Prime Time in defense of the Biden campaign.
Understandably, there was a “Oh hell no, no she didn’t” moment. But when Hilary Rosen tweeted, “I’m horrified that anyone would think I would call Nina Turner “an angry black woman” I would NEVER!! After the TV hit last night, I was getting tons of ugly messages to keep fighting her using that phrase,” it was then that I Oprah knew for sure that “angry Black woman” was the new nigger. A label meant to incite outrage. A label meant to put the offender on the defensive.
a colored diagnosis
I sat in an audience of about 500 other nephrologists learning the latest about diseases affecting the filtering parts of the kidney, the glomeruli, and their treatments. It was the second day of the American Society of Nephrology Kidney Week and the end of a very long day of lectures that would be capped off with a discussion of case studies, led by experts in diseases of the glomeruli, the answers unknown to them and us.