Robert Phillips

not tax day

You would think that after 20 years, I would remember the exact date I gave away my left kidney. But again this year, Robert Phillips, my hubby and recipient of said kidney reminded me, that it was April 14 and not the Tax Day April 15 date that I’ve had stuck in my mind. Even then, I still looked it up in my book to confirm. Bless my heart.

So, yesterday, April 14, 2025, we celebrated our 20th transplant anniversary. I was hoping we would get the nearly 60 years The Other Robert Phillips got from his before dying of something unrelated, but it doesn’t appear we will be so fortunate. Robert’s kidney function (estimated glomerular filtration rate, eGFR) has decreased to about 20 ml/min and he is now eligible for kidney transplant wait listing. Again.

But this time is different than the first time around. This time, Robert knows that he can be on the wait list at an eGFR of 20. The first time, Robert wasn’t referred for transplant evaluation until he had already been on dialysis for a year, even though he had been under the care of a nephrologist for over a decade. And even then it was because he asked his nephrologist about the option.

This time, Robert knows (and has the financial means) to be strategic. He has reviewed the average time to transplant and quality metrics at transplant centers around the country. He will get listed at three or four of the best programs with average wait of two years. Where we live, the wait is at least eight years for his blood type. We probably have two years of good pee with his current kidney, but maybe not eight—which matters because Robert has said repeatedly that he will not do chronic dialysis again. He did it for nearly six years. I have to respect a declaration formed by his lived experience.

I just wish I had another spare kidney to give him. But in the meantime, we are 20 years and counting!



17 years and counting!

It’s our 17th kidney transplant anniversary y’all! (Check out my latest video for “Real Kidney Talk with The People’s Nephrologist” where I talk about being a kidney donor.)

If it’s not obvious from our picture, my husband and I are both Black. And don’t let the fair skin fool you: We are unapologetically and proudly Blackity-Black.

introducing...the people's nephrologist!

I made a simple wish list for Christmas. Some new fuzzy Uggs since I wore down the last pair to fuzzless. A lavender candle or two for my bubble baths. And a pretty journal for writing.

If you knew my hubby (and holder of my left kidney for 16 years now), you would not be surprised that not only did he present me with new fuzzy Uggs, bubble bath swag, lounging PJs because he had grown weary of seeing me in the red plaid Target PJ set I bought at least three years ago, but also a trough of journals. And not just simple journals. No, the trough from my forever and wonderfully extra Robert was filled with soft brown leather-jacketed journals with a fancy wrap-around tie, each embossed with: Dr. Vanessa Grubbs, The People’s Nephrologist.