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15 years and counting!

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15 years and counting!

Today marks Robert’s and my 15th anniversary for kidney transplant surgery. We continue to share two healthy kidneys between us.

Over the years, I’ve been called “selfless,” and even a “hero” for donating my kidney. While I understand that giving away a part of one’s body while alive seems unimaginable to many, each time my response has been an unwillingness to accept that what I did was “selfless” and definitely not heroic. Yes, I did welcome a certain amount of risk to improve someone’s life, but I got a lot in return: The joy of knowing I helped the love of my life be in his best possible health for 15 years and counting.

on being the only one like me

I am not a good tourist. I drove from North Carolina to California for my research year in medical school like it was a job. I drove 8 hours a day and spent the night in a hotel, not once deviating off the freeway to explore whatever sights. Every time I travel for a work meeting, I’m in and out of the city as quickly as possible, rarely having an inkling of regret for not having explored the city.

Yet when I was invited to speak at the Indian Society of Nephrology last year, I accepted. In part because the academic world I lived in at the time said I needed to have an “international presence” to advance my career. And also because they were flying me business class and paying me a little bit of money. Had it been coach and just for my CV, then somebody would have needed to explain to me, Why should I do this again? like I was “this many” years old.

"angry black woman" is the new n*gger

Scrolling through Twitter today, I came across the headline “Democratic commentator Hilary Rosen comes under fire for telling Nina Turner she misunderstood MLK’s words.” The headline was trending, so I was clearly not the only one intrigued. Digging deeper, I found a video in which Hilary Rosen, a White woman and Democratic political strategist, attempted to shout down Nina Turner, a Black woman and national co-chair for the Bernie Sanders presidential campaign, on a segment of CNN’s Cuomo Prime Time in defense of the Biden campaign.

Understandably, there was a “Oh hell no, no she didn’t” moment. But when Hilary Rosen tweeted, “I’m horrified that anyone would think I would call Nina Turner “an angry black woman” I would NEVER!! After the TV hit last night, I was getting tons of ugly messages to keep fighting her using that phrase,” it was then that I Oprah knew for sure that “angry Black woman” was the new nigger. A label meant to incite outrage. A label meant to put the offender on the defensive.

the truth about dialysis

I recently learned that my piece, “When Dialysis Is the Wrong Approach to End-Stage Kidney Disease,” published on the CHCF blog nearly 4 years ago has proven to be evergreen, a story that lives on rather than dying on the vine of whatever is hot at the moment. Last year it was viewed more than 25,000 times, making it a top blog post.

In the piece I argued that not every old person approaching end-stage kidney disease should start dialysis. But judging by some of the folks who have reached out to me, many eyes don’t register phrases like “elderly patients over 75” and “who have dementia or ischemic heart disease.”